Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just sent this text using only my big toe
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
