One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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