You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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