Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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