you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
