I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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