I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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