Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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