if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
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She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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