Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
