I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
