I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
ok first of all what the fuck
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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