I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Randomize
