Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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