found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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