So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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