I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
