he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
