There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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