i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
