I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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