Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
