I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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