Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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