Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
