well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Randomize
