theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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