can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize