I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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