Barsexuality is the new black.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
