It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
