YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
