Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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