sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
