The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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