did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
