Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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