I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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