Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We got so high we made milksteak
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
