By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
