you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I lost the right to judge tonight
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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