Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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