yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
