i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
