are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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