pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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