I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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