Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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