If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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