running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
