He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
