we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
