Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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