Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Randomize
