i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
