took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
