I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
