ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
