dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
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