It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
