Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
