Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
