omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
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she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
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So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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