dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
