i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
