I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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